AAfter the U.S. invaded Panama in 1989, it took their troops 10 days to convince dictator Manuel Noriega to come out of his hiding place in the papal embassy. Their soldiers surrounded the building with loudspeakers, playing songs such as AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long,” Van Halen’s “Panama” and Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” day and night. Until Noriega lost the will to resist. Five minutes into half-time at Twickenham last Saturday, it occurred to one that perhaps they could get the job done quicker if they hired pitch DJ Tony Perry, as the RFU did.
This is not directed at Perry, if you drank four shots of tequila on Ocean Beach in Ibiza, his behavior must have suited you well. Yet, somehow, when England are nine points behind Wales and you and your grandfather are trying to debate whether the referee was right to award a scrum while you were dragging the team through waiting for the game, things don’t go so well. A toilet in Twickenham on a cold February afternoon.
Rugby League has always been a bit adrift in its approach to matchday entertainment. A friend who played professionally in New Zealand told me that he finally decided to retire when he was warming up for a game against the Crusaders when three men dressed as medieval knights appeared on horseback waving back and forth on the touchline. Related to the sword. His exact thought was: “I’m too old for this.” So he quit.
I fully support the Principality’s Goats, Military Bands and Men’s Choirs. Ireland’s Aviva Stadium is a treat and the atmosphere when France play in Paris or Marseille will give you chills. However, a match at Twickenham is shaping up to be an all-round experience, largely because it’s unclear who they want to please. Do those who give up their hard-earned money for a West Stand seat really want to be bombarded with 10 minutes of EDM between half-times? Or will they be content with a piss, a pint of beer and a chance to air their displeasure at the standard of refereeing?
Football seems to have become another sport increasingly confused about how to satisfy existing fans while attracting new ones. You can see this in Netflix’s documentary about the Six Nations, which was entirely aimed at opening up the game to new audiences. You may also have noticed that this year, for the first time, the team is wearing jerseys with the players’ names on the back. This was described as “a move to attract casual fans.” They needed binoculars to read the tiny letters on the French gear. The team made it so small because they felt the names shouldn’t be there at all.
Of all the other causes, events and reasons that hung in the air after Saturday’s final whistle, one of the burning questions was why someone decided to play Oasis’ Wonderwall game over the public address system during a timeout in the game’s final minutes. . It was one of the talking points after the game, whether George Ford’s fidgety little step to the left actually meant he started his run-up before the conversion, which is exactly what they’ve been giving Chandler Cunningham -Nan makes something for breakfast. , and that ever-present Twickenham: “How on earth are we going to get back to Richmond now?”
No matter what state you’re in, your 2024 will be improved by Wonderwall’s quick, high-decibel hits, but it might not be sober. But the RFU also trialled a new alcohol-free zone at the stadium on Saturday, with the Daily Telegraph reporting that some fans drank up alcohol in the concourse as a result. Sober Pens are not designed for families, heads, or people who don’t want to be exposed to alcohol, but for people who want to finish the game without having to pop up over and over to let people out. Go to the bar.
England’s players have been talking of late about what they can do to help improve the matchday experience at Twickenham, and thankfully they’re honest enough to admit that a lot of it comes down to how they play. But there were one or two other small improvements on Saturday. You wonder if it comes down to advice from their new captain, Jamie George, and his senior players. You guessed it, George still remembers what it was like to buy a ticket at Twickenham, or at least had lots of conversations with people who still do.
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There was a live band pitchside and the players’ long walk into the pitch worked well; certainly better than what Stuart Lancaster had them do during the 2015 World Cup. At the time, most players clearly hated it, which is why they dropped it when Eddie Jones asked if they wanted to continue. Now, if only George could talk to them about halftime music too…
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