Of course they showed no mercy.
During the more than three-hour Netflix live broadcast, no one was spared in mocking Tom Brady at the expense of the seven-time Super Bowl champion. Everything from his divorce from Gisele Bündchen, Spygate, Deflategate and Brady’s relationship with Alex Guerrero is on the table.
“Before I came to the New England Patriots, we heard about Spygate. After I left, we heard about Deflategate,” Randy Moss said. “So I just have one question for you, Tom: ‘Why didn’t we cheat while I was there?! I also want to cheat. My kids always ask me, ‘Dad, why does everyone have a ring but you?’ ” Do you know how hard it is to look your kids in the eye and say, ‘They just don’t trust me enough to cheat?’
An assortment of former teammates and comedians spent hours taking jibes at each other — especially Brady.
“A lot of people think I have a lot of animosity toward Tom Brady,” Drew Bledsoe joked. “So I’m telling you tonight in front of millions of people – they’re right.”
Then, toward the end of the night, Bill Belichick, the ultra-serious, rarely joking former Patriots head coach, defeated his opponent in a 10-minute set.
“People say it — Tom and I butt heads a lot,” Belichick joked. “To a certain extent, that’s true. But it’s difficult to have a conflict with Tom — because he’s so on Alex Guerrero’s ass.
Brady was in good spirits at first, trying to laugh off the heartless (and often heartless) jokes — even if there were some uncomfortable moments. Here are some highlights from baking.
Jokes from Brady’s former teammates (and Belichick)
Moss: “Even though we didn’t win them all, I still got everything I wanted because I got to play with the greatest quarterback of all time. For three years — a short period of time — we were scared. The entire National Football League, Tom, you’re still my quarterback — even though you don’t want me to be your accomplice.
Bledsoe: “There were rumors that Coach (Bill) Belichick was going to be here tonight. It turns out he still has some free time. At least when I got fired, there was still someone who wanted me.
Belichick: “I was honored to be a part of Netflix’s Tom Brady Awards. Not to be confused with Bill Belichick’s performance in the 10-episode Apple TV series.
Julian Edelman: “Alex Guerrero is the snake oil salesman who turns Tom into a complete weirdo.”
Rob Gronkowski on similarities between Brady and Belichick: ‘You’re both tough guys who hate fun. You both live and breathe football. .You both are no longer married. You’re even out of football – and you both take full credit for your dynasty.
deeper
Howe: It was never Bill Belichick or Tom Brady: Together they led Patriots to glory
Best quips from comedians
Comedian Jeff Ross: “Tom was drafted 199th overall in the NFL draft. He sat there waiting for days and finally got drafted in the sixth round when Bill Belichick’s dog accidentally stepped on the keyboard. .
Nikki Glaser: “You had seven rings – well, Gisele gave them back and now it’s eight.”
some uncomfortable moments
It’s not just laughter. Brady seemed to realize quickly that this wasn’t going to be some light-hearted, good-natured joke. It started with Kevin Hart’s opening monologue, which was filled with jokes about Bundchen and her new boyfriend, who reportedly has a background in jiu-jitsu.
But the most embarrassing moment may have been after Ross joked about Robert Kraft and massages. Brady then stood up from his seat and seemed to tell Rose, “Stop saying that.”
Belichick’s BBQ
The best set of the night was probably Glaser, though Belichick had a great performance that ranged from comic relief (joking that Hart couldn’t turn down an opportunity) to Danny Amendola’s career highlight (that’s what “Randy The so-called “decency first”), everyone was hit. Half”) is Brady, of course. (“Honestly, Tom, why are these guys so hard on you? Do you miss me?” Belichick joked.
As Belichick returned, he began to receive ridicule, including from Edelman, who noted that Belichick had said in team meetings for years that Foxborough High players could have been Patriots. The team messed up.
“(Now) Foxborough High School is the only job opportunity you have,” Edelman said. “… do your job? More like need a job, coach.
Bill Belichick to Rob Gronkowski: “Please stop doing your job.” #TomBradyBBQ pic.twitter.com/pbn6tOVEqX
— Netflix (@netflix) May 6, 2024
Robert Craft’s witticisms
With the rift between Kraft and Belichick well known, the Pats boss figured he would quickly address the issue when he got the microphone and Belichick sat next to Edelman on the stage.
“Like many family gatherings, there are some people here that I’m trying desperately to avoid — Coach Belichick, it’s great to see you,” Craft joked.
He then turned to Brady’s impending purchase of a stake in the Las Vegas Raiders.
“Tom, good luck buying the Raiders,” he said. “They’ve done your favorite thing for you – they got rid of Jimmy Garoppolo.”
In a nearly unforeseen turn (at Hart’s urging), Kraft and Belichick took the shot together, with Kraft praising Belichick as the greatest coach of all time.
Robert Kraft cheers for Bill Belichick…never thought we’d see this day! #tombradybarbecue pic.twitter.com/X5D3nKOpCm
— Netflix (@netflix) May 6, 2024
How did Brady receive the roast?
Finally, at the end of a long night, Brady told some cruel jokes while also telling some of his own while displaying a version of his own arrogance.
He said Gronkowski was a good tight end for the Patriots — “even though the bar for Patriots tight ends was pretty low at the time.” He joked that the NFL could have saved money on Deflategate $20 million, “I’ll tell you I fucking did it.” Brady added that he was trying to buy a piece of the Raiders because “I’m tired of just owning the Colts and the Bills.”
Eventually, Brady turned to Belichick, with whom he has had a rocky relationship.
“I’ve been out for a minute, so I’m curious,” Brady said. “How many Super Bowls have you won since I’ve been gone? … When I go to the Indy 500, I’m not going to ask, ‘ Hey, who put gas in your car?
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(Photo: Michael Tran/AFP via Getty Images)
