Former Australian cricket captain Meg Lanning struggled with an “unhealthy relationship” with exercise and diet, leading to her unexpected retirement. Lanning, who calls herself private, finally decided to share the reasons why she ended her international career last November at the age of 31.
The Victoria Queen took a long break from cricket in 2022, returning in February 2023 to lead Australia to the Twenty20 World Cup title, but suddenly pulled out of last year’s Ashes due to undisclosed medical reasons.
Lanning revealed she was grappling with an identity crisis outside of cricket that even her teammates and closest friends didn’t know about. Despite running 90 kilometers a week, she often only eats two “unimportant” meals a day.
Lanning did not dismiss her relatively paltry food intake as an eating disorder, but admitted she was in denial about needing help.
“Things spiraled,” Lanning told the Howie Gaming Podcast. “I couldn’t go on tour, play cricket and make the mental and physical commitment that was required for the Ashes series.
“I lost weight from 64kg to around 57kg. These ratios are very abnormal. Nothing is normal and I’m constantly coasting. At some point, it has to stop. I feel very out of control about my future: “If it wasn’t Cricket, what would life be like if I didn’t play?”
At her lowest point, Lanning slept only “a few hours” a night.
“I’m afraid of the night because I know I’m going to go to bed and not be able to sleep,” she said. “That would make me angry. I would just be angrier at myself. If you can’t sleep, you can’t do anything.
Privately, due to health issues, Lanning is still able to perform on the field but can no longer commit to captaining Australia and touring regularly.
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“No matter what happens, I always show up,” she said. “[But] It’s already kind of on autopilot.
The star batsman went on to play in the Women’s Big Bash League, National Cricket League and the lucrative Indian Women’s Premier League, but decided not to represent Australia anymore.
In 2014, at the age of 21, she became Australia’s youngest captain and led Australia to five T20 World Cup titles. She scored 8352 points in 241 international matches.
