THINK addiction and it tends to be alcoholism, smoking, drugs or gambling that most likely come to mind.
But pornography is fast stealing a march on these habits.
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Online searches for “porn addiction” are rising, surpassing searches for alcohol addiction by nearly two and a half times.
That is the warning from Martin Preston, founder of Delamere, the UK’s only purpose-built addiction rehab clinic.
He tells Sun Health: “We think this is a true reflection [of addiction].
“One would imagine the information that they’re seeking is because they recognise the consequences of their behaviour are beginning to catch up with them and they want to make changes.”
Mr Preston attributes a rise in porn addiction to the “spike” in consumption during the Covid pandemic, which is well documented in research.
In one survey of 500 adults by the universities of Bournemouth and Roehampton, a fifth of people admitted to watching more porn in the spring of 2020.
A shift towards remote working means porn is more easily accessed at all hours of the day.
Scientists at the University of Montreal estimate 100million adults globally are affected.
Paracelsus Recovery, which runs clinics in London and Zurich, estimates half of men and a quarter of women suffer from “problematic” levels of porn use.
The clinic claims to have seen a 150 per cent increase in patients treated for porn addiction between 2019 and 2023.
It comes as MPs last month warned that young people are too often turning to it to learn about intimacy because regular sex education is failing them.
Half of children have been exposed to porn by the age of 13, and ten per cent by as young as nine, according to a recent by Dame Rachel de Souza, the Children’s Commissioner for England.
Online pornography is not the equivalent of ‘top-shelf’ magazines from parents’ youths, Dame de Souza said, warning: “I am deeply concerned about the normalisation of sexual violence in online pornography.”
Sally Land, The Sun’s Agony Aunt, has said that the last three years has been a “real eye opener” as more and more readers seek help, worried about their porn use.
She told Sun Health: “I do not doubt that the ready availability of free online porn is having a huge impact on our sex lives, our relationships, our families, and our children.
“Every week at least two readers write in because they are concerned about pornography.
“Many others haven’t put two and two together that pornography addiction was the gateway to their sex addiction issues or that their erectile dysfunction, dissatisfaction or disinterest in real-life sex is caused by this dependence.
“And it’s not just men, I’ve had several women ask for advice on how they can kick the highly addictive habit.”
The partner becomes a ‘porn widow’, as we sometimes talk about it, because porn is preferred.
Dr Paula Hall
Psychotherapist Dr Paula Hall, who set up The Laurel Centre for sex and porn addiction, says porn addiction is driven not by sexual gratification but by the release of dopamine — the “feel good” chemical — into the brain.
She says: “Lots of us might fancy a drink tonight, but we don’t crave it in the same way as someone that has developed an addiction, [who] is completely preoccupied with wanting to access that chemical or behaviour.”
Dr Hall adds: “If your primary reason for wanting to watch is because, frankly, you’re feeling horny, you’re probably going to watch for ten to 30 minutes and are seeking sexual satisfaction.
“Somebody with porn addiction is not particularly horny.
“They’re escaping something else — they’re bored, feeling lonely or stressed out at work.
“They’re probably going to watch porn for hours on end and postpone orgasm because it is the seeking, searching and distraction around porn that is giving them the reward, not the orgasm.”
As viewers’ tolerance of porn rises it can drive them to take more risks in chasing the dopamine high.
They may view more extreme or graphic content, use chat sites or webcam services, sometimes at a financial cost.
How to figure out if you need help
Classification of what constitutes an addiction to porn addiction has been contested, and experts prefer not to use an hours-per-day threshold to diagnose porn addiction.
They say consumption is considered problematic if it interferes with daily life.
Dr Hall says: “The International Classification of Diseases document [maintained by the World Health Organization] says it needs to have caused significant distress in your life for at least six months.
“If it’s fun and not causing any problems in your life, it’s probably not an addiction.
“But for someone who has developed an addiction, it’s not fun any more.
“People know in their heart of hearts, ‘I need to get a grip, and I can’t’. That’s when it has become a problem.”
The shame associated with porn addiction can trigger a vicious cycle of self-esteem issues, loneliness, and mental health challenges – and seeking more comfort from porn.
Naturally, it impacts relationships, with porn-induced erectile dysfunction a particular issue – where addicts fail to find sex as stimulating as porn.
Research by Dr Hall found that 70 per cent of people with the addiction had seen a ‘significant impact’ on their sexual relationships.
Dr Hall says: “The partner becomes a ‘porn widow’, as we sometimes talk about it, because porn is preferred.”
The consequences can be really serious — but they can also take quite a long time to catch up with people
Martin Preston, founder of Delamere
The shame associated with porn addiction and its consequences can also trigger a vicious cycle.
Mr Preston says: “We’ve seen people who become extremely isolated and withdrawn from life.
“The consequences can be really serious — but they can also take quite a long time to catch up with people.”
As tolerance increases, addicts may take greater risks to achieve the same high, such as using chat sites or webcam services.
Mr Preston advises that if self-moderation of porn consumption does not work, professional help should be considered.
Treatment typically involves breaking the cycle and addressing the root causes that drive this behaviour.
An NHS GP may offer support, such as a referral to a counselling waiting list or free support group such as Sex Addicts Anonymous, but specific treatment clinics for porn addiction are scarce.
Drug, alcohol and gambling addictions start with abstinence – but that’s not possible with sex.
Dr Hall, who designed a 60-day online therapy programme, Pivotal Recovery, costing £75, says: “It’s ‘How do I enjoy my sexuality in a way that’s not going to be triggering, or cause problems in my life?’ It’s about changing your relationship to sexuality.”
‘An escape from reality when I was furloughed’
IAN* remembers his use of porn getting out of control when he was furloughed during the Covid pandemic.
The 34-year-old, says: “It was like the go-ahead from the Government to do whatever. I could be watching porn from 10am-3pm, when my wife got home from work.
“It was an escape from reality more than sexual gratification, but obviously there was an element of that about it.”
Ian’s habit escalated to talking to other women through “sexting, exchanging photos and videos, sometimes phone calls and voice notes”.
Ian, from the East Midlands, recalls: “I’d try to walk away from it, having a week or month off.
“I’d delete all of my accounts. But I would end up going back.
“I felt like I was at the bottom of the pit and just couldn’t figure out how to get out of it.
“I didn’t even attempt to get out, I just wallowed in it.”
When Ian’s wife found incriminating messages on his phone, he finally felt able to admit his secret.
Treatment at the Delamere addiction clinic in June 2020 helped him heal from childhood experiences which caused shame around his sexuality.
He says: “Addiction is ultimately a survival mechanism, a trauma response.
“The solution is always the same – connecting with yourself, accepting who you are.”
*Name has been changed.
