wattWhich sport will get the glossy documentary treatment next? Since the global success of Formula 1: Drive to Survive, the team behind the engine-boosting, helmet-throwing game has turned its full-area cameras to tennis (Break Point) and golf (Full Swing) . Croquet, curling, table tennis and tiddlywinks could be the next items on Netflix’s hit list. Or maybe dressage. Who doesn’t love a little Madisco?
But first the Rugby Football League launched Six Nations: Full Contact, a thick-necked, cauliflower-eared series about the 2023 Six Nations Championship. It’s the oldest tournament in international rugby and is filled with fierce rivalries – which mostly means everyone hates England. The game’s gladiatorial nature and sheer physical confrontation should make for compelling screen spectacle.
Unfortunately, by the numbers, this formulaic eight feels like a sports doctor. This blueprint is now familiar. The talking head sits in front of a solid black background. Drone photos and ominous captions identify each location. Immersive sound design brings the audience into the action. A ticking clock and pumping music make the drama even more exciting. Its serious tone means episode titles are “Let the Fight Begin”, “On the Edge”, “Pain or Ecstasy” and “This Really Matters, You Know”. I made that last one up – but you get my point.
Its decision to give six teams equal airtime over two months meant the series felt overcrowded and lacked depth. It often looks like a glorified match highlight package, but is actually outdated – the inherent problem of trying to create tension when we know the outcome. Five of the six teams now have new captains. Wales winger Louis Rees-Zammit is still in the spotlight in jet heels despite switching to American football last week. Players discuss preparations for the Rugby World Cup. You know, that thing that happened last fall.
The lack of colorful characters doesn’t help either. Too many bland sports clichés. Wales’ Warren Gatland may be one of the greatest managers of all time, but he looks like a sad-eyed spaniel in front of the camera. England manager Steve Borthwick is even less charming. These men are more comfortable wearing sportswear than being the center of attention. The environment lacks the glamor of motorsport and the grit of football. There were no tears or tantrums like on Drive to Survive or Break Point. Rugby players are too nonchalant about it. Sometimes you get the sense there’s a better story happening off camera.
Forget those ponies performing in the back row. Here, it’s the forwards who offer the most value. The most intriguing figures are Ireland’s Andrew Porter and England’s Ellis Genge. Porter, a gentle man beneath his Viking hair and tattoos, spoke of his mental health struggles after his mother’s death. Genge discussed his troubled youth and feeling like an outsider in a sport dominated by public schools.
Italy flanker Sebastian Negri has recalled being left cold during last year’s Six Nations and starting to choke on his own tongue. He credits Genge with saving his life on the pitch, an incident that created a warm bond between them. Brutal replays of cringe-worthy clashes of heads show why there is such a big problem with concussions in rugby, yet the issue isn’t even mentioned. Instead, the film is filled with what Genge calls “bone on bone” clashes.
The series is more about resonance than news. There’s no denying that they have a great vibe. The Irish love a good time. The Scots have a stirring chorus. Motivational team conversations get the blood pumping. The feeling of friendship is beyond words. There are plenty of iron pumps and diets. It turns out that the massive behemoths of pecs require a lot of calories.
There are some welcome flashes of humor. After emerging from the freezer, England defender Freddie Stewart said: “My nipples are as hard as rocks.” France center Gaël Fickou – in full playboy form – asked for a photo shoot The teacher “zoomed in on my biceps” without realizing his microphone was on. Italy coach Kieran Crawley’s efficiency and Jeff’s are at industrial levels. One training session, he roared, “turned into a fart.” The closing montage confirms that Crowley’s contract has not been renewed. If there is a second season, the subtitles would be such a shame.
French people are more cultured, which fits the stereotype. They participate in team mindfulness sessions. Fiku plays the piano. Dressed in chic suits and personalized specifications, Azzurri coach Fabien Galthié spoke of “arabses and parabolas” and likened rugby to “heroic battles, like Napoleon leading his armies across field”. You don’t get that from Big Sam Allardyce. Defensive coach Sean Edwards’ Wigan-flavoured Franglaise accent adds to the fun.
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“Drive to Survive” greatly increased the popularity of F1. It feels unlikely that Total Contact would have a similarly transformative effect, especially since the rules of rugby are so confusing to newcomers. The latest addition to the sports series may please fans, but it won’t convert many newbies. Now hear me out, Netflix. Just imagine what it would be like to blink your eyes in cinematic slow motion…
Six Nations: Total Contact is now streaming on Netflix
