At the end of a disturbing fever dream with a 0-0 draw at Cologne, only one thing was clear. The best news for England’s promotion in Group C is that England’s promotion in Group C is now finally over. In some schools of thought, happiness is defined as the relief of pain. In this case, the world today at least looks happier.
Following England through these three games in Germany was a grueling experience, as England’s experience was, the football equivalent of being beaten to death very slowly and methodically by a garbage bag full of flesh.
For much of the game, the players looked horrified. While watching the games in Cologne, Gelsenkirchen and Frankfurt, one thought: Imagine if football really came home. Is this what football would really be like? How can you keep it away and prevent its access? Draw the curtains. Hide behind the couch. no thanks. We have fallen into a huge anxiety chasm.
There is good news. England qualified at the top of the group with the points gained here. They only scored one goal.
What can they get out of it? How does Southgate shape this squad ahead of a possible match against Holland, which will require them to actually play some football? Most importantly, a midfielder, any midfielder, needs to be found to fill the void at the heart of this team. Where are we?
Something new is happening here in England: the tragedy of Connor Gallagher. Cologne has been hot and humid all day long, one of those days that always seems to grab you by the arm and tell you we’re not done yet and there’s still heat to endure.
Three quarters of the beautiful old German Echt Stadium was packed with England supporters. The trees are lovely, the Art Deco colonnade is eye-catching, and the grass out front is beautiful and soft. The opening 45 minutes were an absolute stink in the heart of England.
Once again, it all comes from midfield, or rather from the spaces where they should be.
It’s not Gallagher’s fault. He’s a good player and a very good young man. But he is not the best choice for this England team.
The problem Southgate identified was a lack of urgency. So he brought in a player who was very good at pressing. But is that all there is to it? Isn’t it more about shape and starting position and ball control?
England’s problem is a lack of fluidity, brains and composure. Gallagher is energy. Gallagher always acted like he was being chased by a swarm of wasps. He played as if every minute of every game was overtime and he was down 2-1. But is this the way to find a rhythm? Even before the game begins, it feels like battling it out on a math test.
It just happens, and Gallagher’s performance is one of the edgiest, weirdest, most disturbing performances you’re likely to see at this level. It took him 10 minutes and 48 seconds to touch the ball. Here’s a list of things he does before he touches the ball. He fouled someone. He fell. He stood in a strange non-posture. At the end of the 45 minutes, he had one clearance, two fouls, and 13 passes, all of which were short and basically just a nervous twitch to get the ball away.
Gallagher is a muscular runner. But he’s basically someone football happens to meet. His worst moment came just before half-time when Gallagher made a good run from Keiran Trippier’s right-footed cross and the ball seemed to fly over his head.
Newsletter Promotion Post
A fit Harry Kane could follow behind him. Kane looked confused in Germany, determined to move on but essentially lost, a man who approached a sporting event. Here he looks like he’s playing underwater while heroically drowning. It’s rare to see any elite professional athlete so exhausted.
Again, none of this is Gallagher’s fault. England and midfield: this is not a love story. English football simply cannot make them. There is no template for England’s midfield. You think of some B2B dynamo, shoulders bulging, legs dangling, diving for headers and finishing tackles in a last-ditch effort. But now it’s not a big deal. The midfielder’s job is to keep the ball. Gallagher just keeps giving it away. But he wasn’t told to keep it growing up.
The fact that he was all England had was proof that this wasn’t really a golden generation, or a balanced one anyway. Adam Walton could be really good. No one really knows yet. The fact that he’s one of the primary replacements is the point.
This is by no means an excuse for Southgate, it is his job to sort it out. England have 17 matches between Qatar and this European Cup. Why don’t they have a midfielder? Why does an attempt to find someone turn into a desperate speed-dating exercise? Why did he give up on Kobbie Mainoo and then have him figure it out half way through the game?
England were immediately better when Mainu came on at half-time, with the midfielder actually looking like he was enjoying playing football. Suddenly, the ball became round. Football looks normal again, like a fun team sport rather than some long-term social humiliation.
Mainoo does what you expect, and does it well. It’s never too late to solve a problem. But it’s always a little later than you think; this England team is getting closer to a starting point.
