Like a corner of my heart
With another Euro 2020 coming to an end, Euro 2024 Daily thought it was only right to look back at the fond memories that will warm our hearts for years to come, as we hope to forget as quickly as possible the blow Spain inflicted on England on Sunday.
Dutch dance: Our happy hour ended with the arrival of the Cossacks, but even we were inspired to wear our bright orange disco boots again in the Netherlands. It’s not Will Griggs on Fire, but Snollebollekes’ Links Rechts that has become the sound of the German streets. When the orange army arrives in any city, just say “left”, “right” and “jump”, and a team will follow. It was really impressive to see tens of thousands of people (of all ages) jumping from one side to the other in unison. It’s a good reminder that fandom is about having fun, not throwing chairs at each other.
Going home too early: The Netherlands weren’t the only team to light up the game with their jig. John McGinn arrived in Bavaria, donned a Tyrolean hat and did his best in front of his teammates and bemused locals. This was the musical high point for Scotland who left their hotel in Curb Your Enthusiasm style after a last-minute elimination by Hungary, the local oompah band playing them out with some jaunty tunes as discontented members of the squad walked towards the team bus dreaming of Dubai.
Flying wine: Why does everyone throw Tin so hard after scoring a goal? Of course, the natural decision was to celebrate with a sip of liquid nectar rather than pour it on a seven-year-old who had been taken out of school to watch a 1-1 draw in depressing circumstances. Not only that, but the empty plastic cups landed on the corners and even poor old Gareth Southgate, who didn’t win every game on his way to the final.
Train trouble: The myth of German efficiency has been shattered. Of course, we don’t bother to watch sporting events and instead yell and insult at the TV. Thankfully, some of our more respected and capable colleagues were sent to Germany to watch the football matches in earnest. As well as talking about formations and VAR, they also spent a lot of time discussing the abysmal public transport system. The flood of humiliating photos posted by angry journalists on social media of stationary trains or overcrowded platforms are a good reminder that staying home is the best option, and that the Germans have managed to compete with poor service. Comparable to Fanti.
rain: Playing games in the summer usually means drinking water during each half because the weather is so hot. Commentators would forcefully point out “the pitch is 47 degrees, what effect will this have on the players?” Instead, Germany – and the climate crisis – have given us a series of lightning strikes, storms and Dortmund’s terrible roof. The lowest point in late June came when players had to take off the field during Denmark’s game against Germany, but it left us with images of sodden fans dancing under a waterfall. It was so funny that no one bothered to fix it before the semifinals, allowing Gene Kelly to engage in more escapades.
The grass is not greener: The weather may have been to blame for some of the problems on various courses, but it can’t entirely be blamed for making Hackney Marshes look like a bowling green. Most games have cameras zooming in on the turf created by sliding tackles, which can cause players to slip as the turf collapses. UEFA was forced to issue a statement saying it needed to learn how to farm better and develop performance plans. The centre-back turned groundskeeper, replacing lost turf more times than Maurice Flitcroft.
Masked Man: Every good comics reader knows that wearing a mask is great and can give the person behind the mask special powers. However, Kylian Mbappe seemed to turn into a Fallout Boy as he failed to strike fear into the full-backs, with his teammates finding the goggles had no effect. Considering this was supposed to be an event where he single-handedly wiped out all his opponents – although to be fair, he did his bit back home in France – Mbappe never looked the same as the man in the mask. Comfortable and left with just a mask.
Feeling old: You probably haven’t heard much about it, but Lamine Yamal has been 16 throughout the tournament, and he turns 17 on Saturday. No one really wants to hear the story of a teenager who is achieving great things and has settled in life. It does nothing to boost the morale of writers arguing in their living rooms about when it will be socially acceptable to open that first bottle of wine later, for example. Is lunch okay? Armed with youthful energy and confidence, unencumbered by mortgages and childcare bills, all Lamine Yamar has to worry about is getting past Kieran Trippier on Sunday and knocking a few more goals into the top corner. What a life it must have been for a lad who’d been showered with Lionel Messi.
Crying Ronnie: Speaking of seniors feeling bad…who can forget Cristiano Ronaldo crying because he couldn’t kick a feeble penalty against one of the best goalkeepers in the world? He cried when Portugal were knocked out on penalties by France after he missed 37,392 shots in the competition. Ronaldo need not worry too much, though, as he will be back again in four, eight and 12 years.
Signs of sadness: “Hot pot is better than goulash”, “kielbasa is better than gouda”, “schnitzel is better than baguette” and “bryndzové halušky is better than fish and chips”. These are just some of the fun examples of fans showing off their patriotic culinary perspectives. Oh, how they divide us. Please note that we will give Portugal passes.
And shameless: Don’t forget the inspiring words of World Cup winner Geoff Hurst in an interview with Sky Sports News: “I think one of the great things about supporting England is that you can support England from all over the country. Not just at the game, And just enjoy a nice cup of Budweiser at the bar and bar.”
Live broadcast on big websites
Today is a rest day, but the news blog is not resting. Follow the latest updates here. You can then watch MBM’s coverage of England 0-0 Republic of Ireland’s Euro 2025 qualifying match with Scott Murray at 8pm BST.
Quote of the day
“People used to be ashamed to say they were from here. It was a very rough neighborhood and people earned 1,000 euros a month. Now even people who are not from Rocca Fonda or Mataro say: I’m from 304! – Local resident Sufian explains the pride he feels in his suburb of Barcelona (postal code 08304), where Lamine Yamal grew up.
Euro Daily Express 2024
roll over.
